Shopping season

It's the most annoying time of the year...

Actually, I love the holidays, but I hate shopping.  That's why I give thanks every day for the Internet.  There are no lines.  No annoying customers who don't know what they want, randomly wandering around getting in the way.  No over sized carts plugging up narrow aisles to block your path.   There's just me and a faceless, non judgemental screen. It's bliss.

I have been doing all my Christmas shopping for years on the Internet.   So why people still cram themselves into stores on black Friday at 2AM, for the chance to get a crappy TV at half price is beyond me.  Doesn't everyone know that the so-called specials are only used as a way to get people in to the stores?  They are only allotted 2 to 5 of the "specially" priced items and then the rest are full price, better quality items.  It's amazing just how gullible some people are.

But whatever.  If you like fighting with strangers over something that typically the recipient gets and gives a fake "oh... thanks" to, so be it.  Nothing is more depressing/ annoying to me than going through all the hassle of finding something to give as a gift.  Then you finally find an item you think they'll love and they won't understand how they lived life without it.  However, just as you go to get said item, someone elbows your ribs without ever getting an apology.  Immediately after, someone else's cart rams into your Achilles tendon, as they're on their damn cell phone talking about last night's Dancing with the Morons.  Next, you get sneezed on by another passing by, and when you grab the object of your hunt you find that someone else had previously fondled it after a stop at fatburger.  Why? Because they left a greasy slick behind on the packaging.  Still you endure, get the item home, wrapped and ultimately presented.  Their response?  A rather lack luster... "thanks," before throwing it onto the pile and grabbing the next present.  Yeah, you think to yourself, "it's all worth it," as you slug another shot of Jack Daniels.

That's why I like shopping online.  I put hardly any effort in, so when the recipient opens it and looks nonchalantly at it, I can sit back and smile.   My ribs aren't bruised.  I didn't get sneezed on, and the best part... no grease on my hands.  Happy holidays.