I'm losing it

On my 30th birthday I decided to finally buy a guitar.  I had always wanted to learn to play, but for whatever reason I put it off.  That day I found myself driving out to the local music store and meeting the typical mom and pop music store "dude."   He was busy trying to upsell a kid on lessons so I went about looking for the cheapest guitar possible.  Since I knew that I was going to be horrible I figured I might as well save a couple of bucks.  Eventually the "pop" of mom and pop fame came out from the back and asked me:

"Can I help you son?"  

"Oh... yeah, please."

"What can I help you with?"

"I want to finally get a guitar... and don't want to spend a lot."

You could see the sadness flush over him and led me to the bargain area.  Even though I didn't want to spend a lot, I still walked out with an acoustic guitar, case, tuner, picks and a beginner how-to book.   So much for not spending a lot.  Yes, "pop" was smiling when I left.  I took my gigantic guitar home and played (horribly as predicted) till my fingers bled... which didn't take all that long.  

My obsession lead me to getting my first electric guitar, a Kramer Imperial with Floyd Rose and a reverse headstock.  My first Ebay accomplishment.  Yeah, I took the easy way out.  My fingers thanked me as it was way easier to play for extended periods of time and not ripping up the tips of my fingers. 

This of course lead me to buy another, a Kramer Baretta.  Then an endless succession of no name pieces of crap that all came and went on Ebay.  I put the search for the perfect guitar obsession away for awhile and decided that it was a useless pursuit. In the ten years since I got my first I had never taken a real lesson, and REALLY should have.  I'm still quite awful.  

My next idea was to get lessons.  However, the idea of going to a music store and get lessons makes me nauseous.  Every time I'm in one there is invariably a 7 year old who can shred a guitar like Jimi Hendrix, while I'm still looking to see if I have my fingering correct.  I'd like to think that I'm above the entire ego thing, but these kids see you in there and naturally assume that you can play like them.  I don't know who would be more let down when they heard me actually play.  I just can't do that to the kids... or so I'll keep telling myself.  Instead I found a DVD course that actually is pretty good.  The only trouble is is that there is no accountability to a DVD.  It'll just sit there in the case and never judge me, but it'll also never pull me figuratively by the ear and make me practice. 

This was going fine. I'm still terrible, but slowly getting better.  Unfortunately, this small advancement in playing ability has fostered a new obsession.  I'm going to try the Eddive Van Halen way and slap different parts together and see what happens as I make my own guitar.  I'm now cruising online sites for cheep parts, refusing to pay more than $20 for any one part.  Most have come in the $1 to $5 area.  I'm betting that the best parts come cheap.  I still have to get a neck and some other various parts, but I'm in no hurry.  This is gonna sound awesome.  

I apologize now to my wife, dog, neighbors and music in general.