I hate green

No it's not what you think.  I'm not anti environment or anything like that.  I am a little sick of having it shoved down my throat though.  I had the energy saver bulbs way before they were fashionable.  Not because I was worried about the environment, but because it cut my electric bill in half.  I'm also into appliances that weren't built in 1967 if they are more energy efficient.  The more money I save the happier I am.

No, the green I'm talking about is the way my Rosetta Stone software keeps admonishing me that I'm saying the word wrong.  A while ago I got on a kick to become a better person.  Let me tell you, it's not worth it. It's all just a pain in the ass.  Whomever said that you should be all that you could be never was buzzed by a computer for saying something it perceived as incorrect.

The way Germans say green is very close to its English counterpart.  Grun is the way it's spelled and looks simple enough to pronounce.  However you have to twist your tongue in an almost half pike position, mildly purse your lips and half grunt the word out.  Apparently I can't do it and it's frustrating as hell.

Computer: Der Apfel ist grun.

Me: Der Apfel ist grun.

(BUZZ!)

Me: Der Apfel ist gruuun!

(BUZZ!)

Me: Der Apfel ist gruuuunnnn!

(BUZZ!)

Me: DER (EXPLETIVE) APFEL IS GRUUUUN!!

(BUZZ!)

It's about this time when I want to either punch the screen or toss the laptop out the window.  I've done it before so I know how satisfying it can be.  Long before the movie Office Space scene where they wreak destruction against technology, I was working for the Syracuse Crunch.  I was given an old computer that they no longer wanted.  I quickly figured out why.  After a series of crashes and lost information I borrowed the roof access key from one of the maintenance guys.  Without even asking why I wanted them he tossed over the key.  It shouldn't be that easy, but I'm not going to complain.  

With computer in hand I went up to the roof, made sure no one could get hit with windows based shrapnel, I tossed the unit as far as I could.  Luckily it went right into the empty dumpster and exploded on impact.  It was VERY satisfying and I highly recommend it.

Fortunately for my Mac, I don't have rooftop access while I'm "bettering myself."  I don't know what's the most irritating aspect.

- The fact that I can't say the word properly.

- The fact that the computer is completely without compassion and doesn't let me slide as a real German would.  I mean c'mon, I'm not that far off.

- The fact that it buzzes like I lost on a game show.

- The fact that I use a goofy voice when I get infuriated and more often than not it accepts my response. 

So my quest to better myself has hit a proverbial iceberg in the word "grun."  Just thinking about having to be buzzed repeatedly has made me curtail my pursuit of German mastery.   Maybe I can make a recording of them saying it and I'll just play it back when needed.  Bet they get buzzed too.