When visiting Key West...

Key West has always been one of my favorite places to go.  Sure I wish I could have been there in the early days, before it became the big tourist trap that it became.  But if I could turn back the hands of time, first I'd buy Microsoft, tons of land all along the Florida I.C.W. and the winning ticket for one of those hundred plus million lotto drawings, the week before it was actually won.  Then I'd head down. Since none of that is currently possible... rats... someday, someday.  Since that is still currently only a dream, I have to take modern day KW for what it is.  A drunken, food filled, tourist infested haven for the weirdest of the weird.  In other words, my kind of people. 

If you're planning a visit take time out to look for things like:

 And of course:

That's right... keep your damn snowmobiles out of here!   If you have some change jingling around in your pocket and want to try your luck, let me recommend:

If you are hungry and don't have a seafood allergy, try the conch (pronounced "conk") chowder.  Now everyone in town is going to try to give you their version.  That's just what proprietors do.  Don't get me wrong, I won't begrudge anyone any food concoction down there, but I was steered by a local to one of their favorites.  It's a little place off the beaten path, since 1939, called The Conch Shop.  

There I met the weekend cook and owner, Rita.  Daughter of the original owners and conch chef extraordinaire.  

The bowl of chowder she laid on me knocked my flip flops off.  Her secret recipe is so secret that her own son, a bus boy, doesn't even know how to make it.  All they would share though is that they are the only ones on the island to get their conch from the Bahamas (ironically, the same place where the "Conch" nickname hails from that the keys locals now claim as their very own) every day.  Everyone else gets theirs from the local fish market.  The short boat trip obviously is a nice cruise as they are exceptionally rested and extra tasty after their journey.

The other place to visit is of course Margaritaville.  No, not just because they sell my book (at the entrance, bookshelf, top left), but because you have to take a few minutes to sit at the bar and meet Chris the bartender. 

 Just tell him that it's your first visit, strap yourself in and get ready for the full Key West/ Jimmy Buffett experience.  He's the best bartender in town. And I'm not just saying that because he's (and as he puts it Jimmy) bought me a few drinks in my time.  Not that that hurts of course.

And before you hit the abundant nightlife take in the sunset in Mallory Square.

And keep the tradition alive.  You're supposed to applaud just as the sun slips past the horizon... unlike the putzes we were around recently... jerks...

That concludes our trip for now. Make sure to wave to the web cam on Duval and if you're at Capt. Tony's see if you can find this picture of the ole man.