Late Late Show

I have a new goal in life. I want to get on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.  For my money he's the funniest guy on late night TV.  I think the reason I like the show so much is because he runs the show the way I would, loose and informal.  It's not that I'm so narcissistic that I feel like I have so much to offer to the world, it's that he's funny and I think I could play off that and have fun.  So you see I'm in it just for me to have a bunch of laughs.  You'd think his producer would be knocking down my door right now, but as of yet the door is still on its hinges.

Here's my plan to fulfill my dreamy little dreams.... (I know, shoot for the stars).  Until my incessant bothering of agents finally pays off; and by pays off I mean one of them takes me on as a client, I may have to pursue other routes.  Obviously once I get an agent who gets my fabulous book, (Tales From The Conch Republic available on Amazon, see the note on the right) into the hands of a great publisher and that turns into a movie deal it'll be easier to get on the show.  However until this happens I have to take other measures.

The easiest way would be for me to simply get tickets and go to a show.  Heck the tickets are even free.  Problem is that they're in California and I'm not. I'm no geography expert by any means, but my overnight stay in a certain hotel chain has given me the insight that Florida isn't next to California.  That's unless you still have a paper map and fold it just right.  Otherwise it's a bit of a haul.  Of course if I'm out there I'll have to stop by GoWesty and pick up a rebuilt VW Westfalia camper van which I could drive at a comfortable 80 m.p.h. down divorce lane.  But I'd finally realize my other dream of having a vehicle outfitted with its own refrigerator.  (As you can see when I dream, I dream big.)

So what's the next course of action you undoubtedly are asking! Alright, calm down and I'll tell you.

A quick visit to The Late Late Show's website yesterday gave me a revelation.  I can submit an email to the show, which if you watch the show any idiot could of told you.  Especially because he reads emails every night.  So I'm not the brightest bulb in the sandwich drawer, but nevertheless (I never understood why nevertheless is one word.  It's three words jammed together.  If I do that, I get that annoying red spell check line under my word telling me I f*#$%d up again. And believe me, I get that a lot.  So I'd like to know who got away with putting three words together like that and have it stick.  I'd like to shake his hand... If I had to guess, I say it'd be that guy from the Dos Equis commercials.)

Back to my plan.  I have decided to send an email a day until I finally get on the show... even if that means I just start with getting an email read on the show.  My first offering was:

Hey Craig,

I'm at work and I'm bored.  What are you wearing?

I'm thinking my next one will be,

Hey Craig,

I'm at work and I'm bored.  If you can smell that... I'm sorry.

Maybe I'll work a little harder at this... probably not.  But I'll be watching!